i'M a CoMmOn GirL WiTh CoMmOn ThOuGhTs aNd i'Ve LeD a CoMmOn LiFe. I hAvE nO mOnUmEnT aNd mY nAmE WiLL sOoN bE FoRgOtTeN, bUt i HaVe LoVeD aNoThEr WiTh aLL mY hEaRt aNd SouL aNd tO mE tHiS hAs aLwAyS bEeN eNoUgH...
The Notebook
Nicholas Sparks
Errr ...
Änÿthing £ess than mad, passiönate, extraòrdinary £öve ïs a
waste Öf Ür time
"Those who gaze too much upon the past, who think too much about what might have been, are running something of the same risk as the driver who keeps his eyes upon the rear-view mirror and is inattentive to the road ahead" "Experience is a great teacher; it is the road we have been over. But the wrecks in the rear aren't the ones we are now trying to avoid. It's the curves ahead that count now. Whatever mistakes we have made, our only way out is ahead. This is the life's inflexible formula. What has been and might have been may well serve as a warning - but what may yet to be is our first concern"
Shit ang daming gagawin at kailangan tapusin. Iniisip ko pa lang nagccram na ang utak ko tapos bigla na lang akong matutulala. Pero okay lang ... ang saya naman ng weekend namin sa Majayjay ... Taytay falls ... sobrang dami nga lang ng tao pero nag-enjoy pa rin kami ng husto. Yung mga kelangan ko tapusin, ayun, andun pa rin, di pa nadadagdagan ang mga output ko. buti na lang mababait lahat ng kaklase ko, they're willing to have their outputs to be copied, kanya kanya nga lang interpretation. baka hindi ako makapag-update masyado ngayong week ng blog ko. but if i have time, i'll post our pictures from our trip.
nagsisimula na ata akong magka allergy ... nagkakaron ako ng pantal sa kamay na parang kagat ng langgam, tapos mamamaga. pero ngayon di sya masyadong namaga, kse kumain ako ng chocolate. di ko pa natry uminom ng gamot. kala ko nga nung una kinagat na ako ng ipis, hindi pala. nung araw na nagkaron ulit ako ng pantal, sa umaga ala pa sya, nag-agahan ako ng manok tapos nung tanghali bigla na lang kumati ang kamay ko. ah ewan basta, kakain pa rin ako ng gusto kong kainin... kain na lang ako madaming chocolate ...
kachat ko ngayon mama ko, pagkatapos ko makipagchat, balik na ulit ako sa trabaho ... haaay
my head is in a spin. ang gulo talaga. nahihilo na ako at nagkkram sa kakaisip ng dami ng gagawin:
¡¤ bio 213 take home exam na mahirap deadline on next Thursday
¡¤ ancova exercise (Friday)
¡¤ repeated measure exercise (dalawa to)
¡¤ exam on Tuesday on bio 209
¡¤ take home exam on bio 214
I have to slow down, masyado akong nagpapanic ¡ kaya ko to ¡ sana ¡ naguguluhan lang talaga utak ko ¡ kse ¡ wala ka sa tabi ko ¡
You're depressed. Really you are. And you definitely have a reason. You often space out and stare at things blankly, even if you're normally hyper and energetic. This is because nothing really seems important anymore. You might just be sad right now, or you might be manic depressive. Don't worry. Have some cocoa and stuff'll be ok.
i hate this day, and i will hate tomorrow, and the day after tomorrow!!! ihate it ihateit ihateit! demet ... takot ako umuwi na, baka d ko mapigilan ang luha ko sa pagtulo habang nasa lrt o mrt (nakakahiya naman un di ba). it's really depressing for me. hindi talaga ako masasanay ng hindi kasama ang dadie ko. malamang mugto na naman ang mga mata ko bukas, ngayon pa lang umiinit na ang mata ko at medyo nanlalabo. parang ayaw ko nang umalis dito sa office. at least, dito maraming distractions. maraming blog na pwedeng basahin, pero hindi naman pwede un. i really feel so alone. bakit ba ako ganito, eh tatlong araw lang naman babalik din kaagad.
Last saturday we went to visit my cousin Keena, who just turned 4 yrs old last friday. We bought her a gift, a sesame street back pack. we had a good time playing with her (tickling each other), she was showing off all her toys and gifts that was given to her and she told us that next time we should give her a barbie doll with very very long hair eventhough she already has a lot of barbie dolls. it was already 8 pm when we arrived in their place and we left at 10. she's so sweet that when i told her that we're already going, she suddenly looked sad (with her head bowed she asked me in a pleading voice "uwi na kayo?" :< ( . i missed her a lot, even though there are times when she's being so maldita. i'll post a picture of her later.
***
Wahhhh!!! dadie's going to baguio for 3 consecutive days!!! They'll be leaving tomorrow and it will make so depress (it's making me depress already). This is the first time that we'll gonna be far from each other for that long. imagine, three long days!!! even for just a day i can't stand not having him around. anyway, they're having a convention/workshop/watchamacallit there. hope they get there safe and that his presentation will impress his bosses. i'll be really lonely and sad but i'm happy for the opportunity he will be having.
Na realize ko na matagal nang panahon na hindi ako nakatikim ng pancit canton, lucky me at ung pusit flavored na pancit ulam. Wala lang, namiss ko lang bigla, kse parating nagluluto si Nanay kya hindi na kami masyadong nakakakain ng mga delata at mga instant na pagkain. Nakakamiss din pala. Mamayang gabi baka kakain ako ng instant pancit canton.
May mga araw na ang mood mo ay palaging inis ka. Na tipong kahit anong gawing pagpapatawa at pagpapaganda sa yo ng mood eh walang epek. Konting bagay lang umuusok na ang ilong mo sa galit, tulad halimbawa kapag nabunggo ka ng ibang tao sa MRT o LRT e gagantihan mo din ng bunggo, at ayaw mo masyadong makipagkwentuhan sa kahit sino at kung meron mang makikipag usap sa iyo ay siguradong pasinghal ang sagot mo. Ganyan ang nararamdaman ko ngayon, ewan ko kung bakit ako ganito. wala naman ako (buwanang bisita). Marahil ay depressed o stressed lang ako sa dami ng problema sa pamilya, sa sarili, sa trabaho, at sa mundo. ah ewan ... parang gusto kong mag yosi muna.
Mabuti nalang at hindi ako pinapatulan ng dadie (hubby) ko. Minsan pag naiisip ko ang mga ginagawa ko at inaasal ko, nakokonsensya din ako, pero ang hirap kseng pigilin. Marahil, naiintindihan nya ang kalagayan ko, kse namamaga ang kamay ko sa kati (ewan ko kung anong kumagat sa akin), namamaga ang gilagid ko dahil sa wisdom tooth, at hindi maganda ang pakiramdam ng tiyan ko. Haay, salbahe talaga ako kay dad. pero love na love pa din nya ko! lite 6:03:00 PM
Kilala n'yo ba si Shaider, ang pulis pangkalawakan?
Noong maliit pa ako, dahil wala kaming sariling TV ay nakikipangapit-bahay ako para lamang mapanood ang pakikipaglaban ni Shaider sa mga tauhan ni Phuma Lear, at para na rin masilip ang panty ni Annie. Para sa akin, ang galing-galing ni Shaider (o Alexis kapag hindi pa nagta-transform) at ang ganda-ganda ni Annie.
Kamakaila'y nalungkot ako sa natanggap kong e-mail na nagbabalitang patay na raw si Shaider. Nang binasa ko ang Google-translated site na binabanggit sa e-mail, nalaman kong noong Hulyo 24, 2001 pa pala pumanaw sa edad na 37 dahil sa kanser sa atay si Hiroshi Tsuburaya, ang artistang Hapon na gumanap na Shaider.
Tinuruan din ako ng ilang mahahalagang bagay nina Shaider at Annie, gaya ng mahigpit na pagkapit sa katuwiran at ang pagtataguyod ng kalayaan. Buong giting nilang ipinagtanggol ang daigdig mula sa mga dayuhang (as in aliens from outer space) mananakop. (Siguro partly responsible sina Shaider at Annie kung bakit naging anti-imperialist ako at tuwang tuwa sa nakikita ko ngayong pagtayo ng milyun-milyong taga-daigdig laban sa di-makatarungang plano ni Lear, este, ni G.W. Bush pala!)
Sabagay, hindi mismong si Shaider o Alexis ang namatay--pagkat ang karakter ay maaaring gampanan ng iba--pero nakalulungkot pa ring isipin na yung "idol" mo dati ay tepok na pala. Gayunpaman, ang magiting na si Alexis/Shaider ay mananatiling buhay sa alaala ng mga tagahangang kagaya ko.
What if u've learned that the not so good things that are happening to your friend is your fault (that's what he/she is saying) ... but of course you know that it couldn't be all your fault because you know that your friend's old enough to think about the consequences of whatever decision that he/she will choose. It's something that had happened that you do not have an intention to happen or you're not thinking that the outcome would be so regretful or that you were just there that made it possible to happen. It's not your entire fault right? He/she should have thought about what consequences it would bring and that whatever decision or actions she/he did is because it is her/his decision and not because you made him/her do it. Of course, she/he is your friend and she/he told you this in not an angry way. You would still feel bad, right? You know it's affecting her/his life and you just hope that everything will still turn out right and not that it will come up with another disaster. :(
It's a saturday and still i'm here working at the office (though i really haven't started working yet coz i'm blogging and checking my emails, and bloghopping. hehe)
The Editor
Philippine Collegian
University of the Philippines
Dear Sir:
I was wondering where and when the expected savaging of Cafe Havana Greenbelt would take place, having received a few days ago a letter complaint from an irate guest about alleged racism practiced in this particular restaurant-bar. Then a friend e-mailed me a copy of a letter to the editor of the Philippine Collegian published on 21 February. It was signed by Jose Duke Bagulaya, Department of English and Comparative Literature, University of the Philippines.
When I first received a letter complaint from a certain Mr. Philip Ting on stationary marked Office of the President of the Philippines, National Anti-Poverty Commission, citing our establishment's "arrogant and blatant discrimination", I knew it was not going to be your usual complaint from a dissatisfied customer. The incident involving Mr. Bagulaya, he wrote, reminded him of his grandfather's stories of Old China where certain places were marked off limits to Chinese and dogs. My first reaction was one of astonishment -- how could such a thing happen in our establishment? Anyone who knows the history of our restaurants or of the background of its owners would react in similar disbelief.
Forthwith I sent text and fax messages to Mr. Ting through the contact numbers he listed, expressing utmost concern and extending my apologies even as I promised to look deeper into the incident. I asked for a little time. I did not get any response. Instead we got a barrage of e-mail from concerned friends who had read the Letter in the mail. It took a few days for us to verify what happened, from the point of view of the security guard on duty and the manager of the restaurant. Herewith is a gist of the report of our chief of operations:
"Mr. Romy Canda (Cafe Havana manager) was on duty that day (Saturday, February 8). He said the guard on duty does not remember having received any complaint from any guest but recalls refusing several guests, locals and foreigners, due to improper attire, one of whom was in shoddy shorts. That guest may or may not have been the complainant. The guard simply does not remember, it was a very busy night and no one had made a big fuss about being turned away. On February 10 Mr. Canda received a letter from Mr. Philip Ting who complained regarding the incident in which he claimed to have been told by the guard that the restaurant "had a preference for foreigners." (In his letter to Collegian, Mr. Bagulaya has the guard saying in Taglish: "Havana 'to...piority namin foreigners." Mr. Canda says had there been the slightest incident due to that remark, the guard would have immediately reported it to him, this being SOP in our restaurants. He said the guard does not speak very well, is shy and inarticulate and therefore could not have used those offensive words, at least not intentionally. Many guests are refused entry on a daily basis because of non-conformity with the dress code posted on the establishment's wall."
Clearly there is denial that disicrimination was intended. Could it be a misinterpretation of the guard's crude way of expressing himself? Did he say those words at all? On the other hand, I cannot make light of the complaint, coming as it does from a respectable source who would not be so incensed had something close to what was narrated not actually taken place. I would take the guard's denial with a grain of salt and lean on the side of the complainant, especially regarding the uneven application
of the dress code. The complainant's comment that other guests more under-dressed than he had found their way inside the restaurant is possible. The guard explains that sometimes on crowded nights improperly attired guests get past him and once inside they are no longer asked to leave. They are told to observe the dress code on the next visit. The dress code, conspicuously posted at the entrance door, is applied to foreigners and locals alike.
It is true, we do not admit just anybody in our restaurants and bars, but this policy has nothing to do with race, creed, or social standing. The following are not acceptable in all our establishments: people who are drunk or suspected to be on drugs, hookers of any gender, and improperly attired but otherwise respectable individuals such as those wearing basketball shorts, street slippers and tank tops. Due to the number of people that descend on Cafe Havana on late nights, it is not always possible to enforce the rules to the letter.
To accuse management of enforcing a "racist" policy and encouraging its staff to discriminate against Filipinos in their own country is to blatantly distort the truth to get back hard at management for the seeming lapse of an one employee. The letter writer, an educated man from the State University, shows the same arrogance and prejudice he accuses the guard and his employers of, especially when he likens the guard to a dog and ridicules him for not being able to write "a decent Spanish sentence."
After all is said and done, I should like to say that we at LJC truly regret this incident and apologize on behalf of the guard who has been chastised and lectured on for not exercising prudence and good judgment but who may keep his job for humanitarian reasons, and on behalf of the owners and managers of Cafe Havana. In a way, I should be thankful to the kind professor for making us more aware of our shortcomings. Needless to say we have learned a few valuable lessons from the incident.
We hope the complainant and his friends find this letter a good reason to revisit Cafe Havana Greenbelt. I would personally welcome them to disprove notions of prejudice and arrogance in our establishment, for no such things exist there and or in any other LJC restaurant. We certainly wouldn't last a quarter of a century in the business if we were not sensitive to people's feelings.
Thank you for publishing our side of the incident.
Haaay ... hell week ko nga yata talaga, hindi hell month na pala. Kala ko pagnatapos na exam namin at natapos ko na ung book review ni cindy eh makakaluwag na ako .... but NO! May dumating na naman na mabigat na trabaho. Mabigat sya in a sense na medyo malaki ang expectation sa output namin. Eh hindi ko pa nagagawa ang mga assignment kong iba at exercises para sa biyernes.
Ganito naman talaga dito sa department namin. Sobrang daming ginagawa, nagtatrabaho na, nag-aaral pa, at may mga sideline pa ha ... oh say mo.
Bale tatlo ung kliyente na ibinigay sa amin ng chairman, bahala na daw kami ni genz na paghatian ang trabaho. This week, dapat matapos ang data processing para next week eh may maibigay na kaming mga output at results. Nasimulan na namin ung isa, yung dalawa hindi pa nagbibigay ng data. So, ang ibig sabihin kelangan mag-overtime ng sabado ... wahhh, hindi ako makakatulog ng mahaba! Kelangan ko pang mag-aral sa procedures/test na gagamitin. hay.
A long time ago, before the world was created and humans set foot on it for the first time, virtues and vices floated around and were bored, not knowing what to do.
One day, all the vices and virtues were gathered together and were more bored than ever. Suddenly, Ingenious came up with an idea: "Let's play hide and seek!"
All of them liked the idea and immediately Madness shouted: "I want to count, I want to count!" And since nobody was crazy enough to want to seek Madness, all the others agreed. Madness leaned against a tree and started to count: "One, two, three..."
As Madness counted, the vices and virtues went hiding. Tenderness hung itself on the horn of the moon, Treason hid in a pile of garbage. Fondness curled up between the clouds and Passion went to the center of the earth. Lie said that it would hide under a stone, but hid at the bottom of the lake, whilst Avarice entered a sack that he ended up breaking. And Madness continued to count: "... seventy nine, eighty, eighty one..."
By this time, all the vices and virtues were already hidden - except Love. For undecided as Love is, he could not decide where to hide. And this should not surprise us, because we all know how difficult it is to hide Love.
Madness: "...ninety five, ninety six, ninety seven..." Just when Madness got to one hundred, Love jumped into a rose bush where he hid. And Madness turned around and shouted: "I'm coming, I'm coming!"
As Madness turned around, Laziness was the first to be found, because Laziness had no energy to hide. Then he spotted Tenderness in the horn of the moon, Lie at the bottom of the lake and Passion at the center of the earth. One by one, Madness found them all - except Love.
Madness was getting desperate, unable to find Love. Envious of Love, Envy whispered to Madness: "You only need to find Love, and Love is hiding in the rose bush."
Madness grabbed a wooden pitch fork and stabbed wildly at the rose bush. Madness stabbed and stabbed until a heartbreaking cry made him stop. Love appeared from the rose bush, covering his face with his hands. Between his fingers ran two trickles of blood from his eyes.
Madness, so anxious to find Love, had stabbed out Love's eyes with a pitch fork. "What have I done! What have I done!" Madness shouted. "I have left you blind! How can I repair it?"
And Love answered: "You cannot repair my eyes. But if you want to do something for me, you can be my guide."
And so it came about that from that day on, Love is blind and is always accompanied by Madness.
..."There are some people who meet that somebody that they can never stop loving...there are some love that don't go away...but we should all be lucky to end up with that somebody who has a little of that insanity.Somebody who never lets go. Somebody who cherishes you forever."...
im running some programs for our assignments and answering exercise questions (using SAS) and decided to check my email, and this email is a sure stress reducer. hope it will reduce yours.
GHOST POOPIE: The kind where you feel the poopie come out, but there's no poopie in the toilet.
CLEAN POOPIE: The kind where you poopie it out, see it in the toilet, but there is nothing on the toilet paper.
WET POOPIE: The kind where you wipe your butt 50 times and it still feels unwiped, so you have to put some toilet paper between your butt and your underwear so you won't ruin them with stains.
SECOND WAVE POOPIE: This happens when you're done poopie-ing and you've pulled your pants up to your knees, and you realize that you have to poopie some more.
POP-A VEIN-IN-YOUR-FOREHEAD POOPIE: The kind where you strain so much to get it out, you practically have a stroke.
LINCOLN LOG POOPIE: The kind of poopie that is so huge you're afraid to flush without first breaking it into little pieces with the toilet brush.
GASSY POOPIE: It's so noisy, that everyone within earshot is giggling.
DRINKER'S POOPIE: The kind of poopie you have the morning after a long night of drinking. It's most noticeable trait are the skid marks on the
bottom of the toilet.
CORN POOPIE: Self explanatory.
GEE-I-WISH-I-COULD-POOPIE POOPIE: The kind where you want to poopie but all you do is sit on the toilet and fart a few times.
SPINAL TAP POOPIE: That's where it hurts so badly coming out, you'd swear it was leaving you sideways.
WET CHEEKS POOPIE (The Power Dump): The kind that comes out so fast, your butt cheeks get splashed with water.
THE DANGLING POOPIE: This poopie refuses to drop in the toilet even though you are done poopie-ing it. You just hope that a shake or two will cut it loose.
THE SURPRISE POOPIE: You're not even at the toilet because you are sure you are about to fart, but *oops* --- a poopie!
I hav an exam this afternun in Biostat 209 (Experimental design). good luck to me. then another one on monday in Biostat 214 (Applied multivariate analysis) . And we still have lots of exercises and assignments to pass plus i have to do a book review for cindy (deadline nextweek). May the power of the universe help me through these.
Most everyone experiences a visit from jealousy, the nasty green-eyed monster, at some point in their lives - whether it's over a best friend's career success or a gorgeous person flirting with their loved one. We tend to think of jealousy as a single emotion, but it is actually a mixture of a whole bunch of feelings; it can manifest itself as sadness, hurt, anxiety, fear, loneliness, paranoia, self-doubt, anger, and even extreme rage. While we can't necessarily stop this unpleasant sentiment from dropping in from time to time, we can control how we choose to act when it hits. When it consumes our thoughts or triggers behavior that can harm relationships or another person, that's when jealousy is truly a monster. The first step in breaking free from jealousy's grip is recognizing the problem, which your results on the Jealousy Test will help you do. The second is taking a deeper look at the real root of the problem: for every jealous feeling there is an emotion lurking behind that is much more significant than the jealousy itself. Jealousy is just the finger pointing at the fears that we are afraid to face. More often than not, the culprit is a feeling of low self-worth and a fear that we are not good enough to hold on to the things that matter most to us.
Most people experience a certain amount of fear that their loved one could leave them for someone else. After all, these things happen, and when they do, it is usually very painful. You fit right into this usual range - certain situations may spark feelings of jealousy, but generally you are not preoccupied with the fear of losing your partner. If you were honest with yourself while taking the test, this means that you are secure, strong, independent and rational enough to recognize the possibility of losing your partner to someone else, but not be consumed by it. That does not mean that you do not care; you would certainly be as sad or crushed as anybody else. However, you know that if it ever happens, you will survive with your self-esteem and dignity intact. You realize that even though you might love your partner very much, s/he is not the only fish in the sea, and that you would eventually find happiness with someone else. Such feelings give you a sense of security and the strength to trust, and allow you to be comfortable in the relationship. That, in turn, boosts the chances of a lasting and fulfilling relationship.
This is a letter to the editor of the Philippine Collegian published February 21, 2003
Dear Madam,
I thought it only happens in the novels of Ralph Ellison. But I was wrong. I met racism face to face at the entrance of Café Havana in Green Belt
Makati last Saturday, February 8, 2003. As I and my companions approach the café's door, at around 12 midnight, the six-foot tall Filipino guard apprehended me. He consequently told me that I'm not allowed to enter due to my attire. I would have accepted his alibi if I had not seen white men in tee shirts freely entering and leaving the premises. So I countered and ask the guard, 'why won't you let me in when I am wearing a long-sleeved shirt, while those white men are just in their plain tees?' Seemingly irritated by my question, the guard told me: 'Café Havana 'to. Priority namin ang foreigner.' I was stunned that I remained standing in front of the entrance. I could not believe the reality of my experience. But it was not yet enough for the guard, he ultimately told me: 'kung hindi kita papasukin, may magagawa ka ba?' Surprised beyond words, I left, bewildered.
Looking back at what happened, I could not blame the security guard alone. Sometimes some guards are like dogs; they only follow what their
masters wished. Moreover, I'm not insulted that someone, who cannot even write a decent Spanish sentence, would verbally push me away from a pseudo-Hispanic commercial establishment. I'm rather shocked by the fact that I suffered the most savage form of racism not in a foreign land but in my own country and in the hands of people of my color. Café Havana's management policy is no doubt disturbing and prejudiced.
What happened to me and my companions is not a purely isolated case, but a determined result of the management's view that the indio is inferior to the white man. What happened is nothing but a practice of the company's unstated racist policy. What happened is but a ramification of a policy that is unconsciously propagated by a semi-colonial state, a state that kowtows to foreign capital. Racism, in short, is never incidental.
Any policy that springs from racism is indeed not appropriate for any establishment that gets permit to operate from the government, a government supposedly by Filipinos. I wish that Café Havana's management would amend and reassess its barbaric policy before more people
suffer the same fate. For if it remains firm on its racist practices, I would suggest that Café Havana put up a signboard which says: 'Dogs and brown-skinned natives are not allowed here.' That at least would be more humane.
Jose Duke Bagulaya
Department of Engish and Comparative Literature
University of the Philippines, Diliman
We watched 2 movies yesterday which we didnt intend to do. Our original plan was to watched Treasure planet. upon arrivng at robinsons in marcos hi-way looked at the listing of the movies and then while walking to the cashier to buy our tickets we were checking out the posters of other movies. Another movie caught our attention because of the two beautiful lady in it, The Legend of the crocodile. We thought that it would be a more exciting movie than the treasure planet. So we bought tickets for the legend of the crocodile instead of the treasure planet. The movie was so boring and the cinematography is not good at all. We finished the movie anyway, then watched treasure planet. lite 5:02:00 AM